THE AIR OF HAPPINESS
I'm 41 years old and I'm about to go on a journey of self discovery. I have no clue where I'm going, Just a destination and that is Happiness. As it's the only option I believe I have left. As I have tried to chase down everyone else version of happiness. It's time I tried to find out who I am and where I belong. As I have value and worth and It's time I shared.
As the door of my old life is closing and I'm waiting for the new door to open. What I value right now is putting my best foot forward in the next chapter of my life. It's why I had to make so many changes the last few months, in order to get ready for this. From Quitting smoking to exercising to meditation to trying to increase my knowledge. Most importantly coming to terms that the version of happiness I chased for so many years no longer exists.
HOW I PLAN TO DO THIS
One of my core beliefs that has changed. Is not spreading negative energy anywhere. Even if it could help me in my now. As let's be honest it's easier to connect to someone through emotion. Since my now is as bad as it is I'm choosing to focus on the happiness I discover. As well as any happiness I can find in my now. I'm doing this so I can keep my focus and not fall down even further.
IN ORDER TO CHANGE YOU MUST CHANGE THE WAY YOU DO THINGS
Due to the mistakes I have made in my life. My life is now dramatically harder. Things like housing doesn't feel logical right now. As I cannot afford rent and buying a house while much more affordable has even more challenges. Change clearly needs to happen, and I believe it will. As I have Value now i just need to find my Value to other people. As it would be easy to tell my emotional story of how I got here. The problem I have with that is. There is to much sadness and anger in the world already. I want to pass on hopefulness and happiness as that is something worth remembering to me. Not how much pain I'm in.