I can't keep telling the same story if I ever want true change. The change I desire more than anything is to stand up again on my own two feet. As my emotional state just seems to attract more of the same results. I do however have one life line which brings me a great amount of joy. I also have the journey. I also have my children, my health, and a desire for happiness that goes deep.
My lifeline and I have never met. We do however share a very strong connection. As he opened up his home to me and my family. I was blown away by the offer, as I believe he was serious. Even if he wasn't, the feeling was the same. It uplifted me enough that I could sleep even if it was just for an hour. I can be thankful for that. I appreciate that. I was even tempted to go for a second and it was such a happy thought.
Maybe I might have even been strong enough to go. As the cost made sense he just wants to see me stand up again. If I did that would it really be me standing or would it be him holding me up. As everything is two sides, and the contrast between the two sides is what I feel keeps us in place. It's in the contrast where true growth spawns. As anyone can give focus to any subject.
Eventually good and bad thoughts will come on any subject. But we are far more likely to draw upon the negative than the good. As we can feel it. I knew the news would be bad when I open up my email. I felt it, I knew it was there, I tried to avoid it as long as I could. But the contrast of life got me, As this blog started out completely different. Complaining about an old life that refused to let me go. Or maybe it's me that is refusing to let it go I'm not sure.