It's been a little while.
Today was the first day in a little while I allowed myself to admit what I was feeling. That is this is never going to end. As I allowed myself to believe that my journey was about to end. As settlement talks have begun. I allowed myself to believe that I would be able to not only get the trailer I have dreamed of getting but the house I also desire. That came crashing to a halt though and I was spiraling for a few days. Than the most amazing thing happened I passed out and got a few hours of sleep.
Now I'm slowly returning to me again. I can feel the shift in alignment and I am able to start being thankful again. Not blaming other people for the position I'm in. As I'll be honest it's easier to mad at someone else than be mad at ourselves. Right now I'm mad at myself for falling the way I have.