So tonight I realized I can't even afford to be homeless
I'm really nervous tonight. I starting pricing items that I feel would be important to start my journey. Things like a cold weather tent, lanterns, stove, etc etc. It really adds up. I starting getting a little panicky as I have never been in this situation. So the question really needs to be. How bad do I want change and why do I want it? Which allowed me to feel better. It allowed me to start being nicer to myself.
As the worse case scenario is I have to sleep in the car and eat boxed food. I mean, I can eat Pop Tarts everyday. Who could complain about that :) I kind of do as that is so much sugar. Where as the best case scenario is I'm more comfortable and able to cook food a little more simpler. If that is what I desire well then I guess I'll need to be able to connect with people or find another source of income.
There is a pathway through this. You just have to belief there is a path and if things don't go nice. Like they did for me tonight, Instead of turning to something for an escape, find a way to be nicer to yourself. You will feel better without the negative effects of beating yourself up even more when the something wears off.